The LaidOffCamp Phoenix website describes it this way:

“Laid Off Camp Phoenix is an extension of a national effort to help people find work — full-time work, freelance work, volunteer work, or whatever’s next for them. Like other LaidOffCamp events, it is a locally-based, community-supported effort to offer resources and reassurance to job seekers.”

Over 200 people attended LaidOffCamp last weekend. At first, I felt a bit funny going to something called that, but it was a great experience. I thoroughly enjoyed meeting many new people and getting some new ideas. Everybody there was friendly, helpful, and excited about being there. I definitely felt uplifted by the day, even though I was exhausted by the end of it.

Amazingly, the entire thing was free to all participants. The City of Chandler graciously donated facilities. Local businesses donated food and drink. The speakers all spoke for free. Many volunteers kept things running smoothly. Susan Baier coordinated the entire thing and did an awesome job. Many kudos to Susan for a job well done. If you’re on Twitter, search for the #locphx hashtag to see what people are saying about it.

We were treated to a wonderful array of presentations and discussions. There were sessions for job seekers, budding entrepreneurs, and anybody who is wondering what to do next (which is or probably should be most people). I had no trouble finding sessions to attend and had to make some difficult choices between ones happening at the same time.

In addition, several highly qualified people offered their time and energy to help people one on one in a variety of areas, such as with resumes, insurance options, taking photos for avators, and signing up for Twitter and Facebook.

Like many other people, I have dreams of someday being my own boss, of managing my own destiny, and of following my own passions. I feel encouraged by the many examples of other people here doing that, and I am grateful for their willingness to share.

Are you interested in moving out of a corporate job and working for yourself? What are you doing about it? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Robyn

P.S. I realize I have been a total slacker with this blog for the last couple of months. Life has been pretty hectic lately. More about that later.

This post discusses the fourth of the five phases I went through. As a quick recap, here are the 5 phases I’ve identified:

1. Gain the weight.
2. Understand the impacts.
3. Get on the path to weight loss.
4. Learn what works in losing weight.
5. Find a new way of living.

Conflicting Advice

How do we learn what works? Unfortunately, when it comes to losing weight and getting fit, there must be a million or more suggestions. You need to sort through it and figure out what works for you.

Have you ever thought, “Why can’t the scientists ever make up their minds? Why are there so many diet plans out there? How can I know what will work for me?”

It can be very tough to know. You often see advice on diets, fitness, and health that is completely contradictory. You can read one article that says one thing. Five minutes later, you read another article that says the complete opposite. This is true whether it comes from the popular media or from so-called “diet experts.”

For example, I’ve seen some articles that say what you eat is the most important for weight loss, and exercise doesn’t really matter. Others say exercise is more important. How do you choose between the two? Personally, I believe in a third choice, you need both nutrition and exercise together.

The Harvard School of Public Health has some great tips for cutting through the confusion about various studies reported in the news. In Nutrition Research and Mass Media: An Introduction, they describe how and why researchers often come up with different conclusions when studying a particular issue. The media often makes matters worse by reporting on a single study, usually one that runs counter to current recommendations. Controversy sells, and the media knows it. They give advice to help you decide how important an article is for you. For example, are they reporting on only a single study? How does it fit into the bigger picture of recommendations about the topic?

Weight loss science is very complicated, and researchers discover new information every day. They have looked at questions about how genetics, medications, types of food eaten, blood types, and even viruses can impact your ability to lose weight. I caution you not to get too bogged down in all of this confusing information, especially when you’re just starting out. You’ll make yourself crazy. Keep it simple.

Try Different Things

My best advice is to keep trying different things out until you find what works for you. Just be sure you’re trying out reasonable ideas, not crazy off-the-wall ones. For example, decreasing the amount of sugar you eat is a good idea; eating only cabbage soup is not.

There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of diet plans out there. The same with exercise plans. Each one has probably worked for somebody, and now some self-proclaimed expert thinks they can make money by selling it to you.

It may not matter what the diet plan is. You could pick one of several that would work. In fact, it could work for reasons that have nothing to do with what it claims. Have you seen how many expensive machines, pills, and powders you can buy that promise amazing results with little or no effort? Have you looked at the fine print that says “when combined with a good diet and exercise plan”?

Why don’t you just eat better and exercise more, and save your money for new clothes in a smaller size instead?

Some Common Recommendations

Even though you can find people who will argue about anything, a lot of sources do agree on some common recommendations:

1. Combine changes in eating habits with exercise. Exercise, including both cardio and strength training, is critical when trying to lose weight. Cardio helps burn calories and improve your blood circulation. Adding muscle raises your metabolism and reduces “jiggle.”
2. Reduce the number of calories you eat, but not by too much. (see below)
3. Choose a diet you can live with. Most people who lose weight will gain it back, especially if they lose it by following a diet they can’t live with in the long run. Eventually, they will break down and slip back into old habits. Can you imagine living the rest of your life without any ice cream or chocolate at all? Learn to allow some in moderation, so you don’t go on a binge someday.
4. Avoid crash diets. The recommended rate of weight loss is 1 to 2 pounds per week. This rate is the most likely to result in sustained weight loss. If you lose more than this, chances are you aren’t making sustainable lifestyle changes. Don’t get too anxious.
5. Work on your mindset. Thoughts and emotions surrounding food have a huge impact on your weight loss efforts. For example:
   • get support from other people who understand
   • identify “food triggers” and emotional eating situations
   • focus on the positive aspects of improving your health, not on the restrictions and deprivations

Your Calorie Deficit

To lose weight, you should reduce the number of calories you eat and increase the calories you burn. The total is called your “calorie deficit.” If your deficit is 500 calories per day, you should lose approximately 1 pound per week. A pound of body fat equates to 3500 calories. Don’t attempt to lose more than 2 pounds per week (a 1000 calorie-per-day deficit).

The American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM) recommends that you never drop below 1200 calories per day for women or 1800 calories per day for men. In fact, these could be too low based upon how active you are. Therefore, cutting down to 1000 calories per day is probably counter-productive. Reducing calories by 15 to 20% below your daily calorie maintenance needs is a useful starting point. Use these as very general guidelines. You will need to experiment to determine what calorie level works best for you. Also, realize that they will change over time as you lose weight and get stronger.

Determine how many calories you are eating now, by checking your intake on a few typical days. You can get information about the calories in your food from nutrition labels (watch the serving size!) and several websites. You can also get information about calories burned based on the amount and type of exercise you plan to do from websites.

To Summarize

The bottom line is use some common sense. Don’t get caught up in the latest fad, figure out what works for you as an individual, and make a series of small changes in your lifestyle that you can sustain over time. You should do fine.

Please remember that I am not a doctor and not a source for medical advice. Check with your own doctor before starting or changing any diet or exercise plan.

Robyn
photo credit: alancleaver_2000

Articles in the Series:
Losing 100 Pounds – The 5 Phases
Losing 100 Pounds – Gain It First
Losing 100 Pounds – Waking Up to Weight Gain
Losing 100 Pounds – On the Path to Weight Loss
Losing 100 Pounds – Learning What Works
Losing 100 Pounds – Finding a New Way of Living

Growing Up in New Zealand

Mom’s life included some truly major transformations. She was born and grew up in New Zealand, an incredibly beautiful country on the other side of the world from the United States. It was the setting for the stunning scenery in the Lord of the Rings movie trilogy. Mom’s birthplace was Dunedin, which is the second-largest city in New Zealand’s South Island.

Her father was a mining engineer. As a result, her parents lived and worked in many parts of the world. Mom and her two sisters lived in some difficult mining locations while growing up. They also attended a girls’ boarding school for a few years while their parents were out of the country working.

me, cousins Murray and Geoff, brother Andy, aunts Lesley and Evelyn

After graduating from the University of Otago in Dunedin, she took a teaching position in Auckland, which is New Zealand’s largest city. She taught home sciences (roughly equivalent to home economics in the U.S.) in a high school there.

Meeting an American

In 1956, at the tender age of 23, she married my father, Robert Wanamaker Seaton, in a small ceremony in Auckland. Dad grew up in Manhattan, Kansas. His father was the Dean of Engineering at Kansas State University there.

So how did a guy from Kansas and a young lady from New Zealand happen to meet and marry? It’s actually a pretty romantic story.

My dad worked for the U.S. Naval Oceanographic Office. He was part of a project to map the magnetic fields around the South Pole. The plane had some mechanical problems, so the team had to stay over in Auckland longer than they expected.

The story that my mother always told was that a friend invited her to a party. Her friend wanted to introduce Mom to a man she knew. Mom reluctantly agreed to go to the party. She didn’t actually care that much for the man she was supposed to meet, but she also met my father. To say the least, they hit it off.

Six weeks later, they were married. They stayed together for just over 50 years. Mom passed away nine days after their 50th wedding anniversary.

I have a letter that my dad wrote to his mother in Kansas a couple of days after he and Mom were married. Here are some excerpts from what he said:

We were married six weeks to the day after we met, and these were a busy and magic time. She had never given a thought to living in the U.S., and long-standing reluctance about such a kind of life had to be overcome.

Wilma is a talented young lady. She is not only a very fine seamstress, bur also a good and imaginative cook. She and I like the same things in the details of living [...] She has similar likes to mine in cultural and intellectual pursuits, and so you can see why I was so enthusiastic to leave behind the old imagined independence of bachelorhood.

At first, they didn’t get to spend too much time together. My dad had to continue on with his mission. It took a while before my mom could finally join him in the States. They had to get all the immigration paperwork sorted out.

Life in a New Country

Mon’s world was turned completely upside down. She went to Kansas first, where my grandmother lived. The flat wheat fields of Kansas were completely different from the mountains and ocean around her homeland. My dad liked to say that she had no idea the rest of the world didn’t look like New Zealand. It was quite a shock to her.

Eventually, they moved to Washington, DC, where my father’s office was located. He continued working for the Naval Oceanographic Office until he retired. I was born and lived there until I moved to Arizona in 2008. They both enjoyed living in the DC area.

However, my father’s office moved to the Mississippi Gulf Coast in the late 1970’s, so they moved there. That was another major culture shock for both of them. The laid-back attitudes of the Gulf Coast were completely different from the hectic, high-powered world of DC. It took some getting used to, but eventually they settled in and built a beautiful house right on the beach. (It was on a lot that Hurricane Camille had cleared. Later, after they had sold it, Hurricane Katrina destroyed my parents’ house.)

On the Road

My parents, my brother Andrew, and I used to go on family camping trips for most of our vacations when I was growing up. We traveled around the country visiting parks, national forests, and other wondrous places. After my father retired, my parents decided to live “on the road” as full-time RV’ers. For several years, they lived in a trailer that they pulled behind a truck around the country. They loved seeing different places and meeting new people.
Eventually, they found a small “park model” mobile home (about half the size of a traditional mobile home) in an RV park in Benson, Arizona. Although they still spent most of their time out on the road, they liked to stay there when they wanted a break. Benson is east of Tucson in southern Arizona, at the turnoff for Tombstone from I-10. It’s a fairly small town and completely different from New Zealand, DC, and the Gulf Coast.

My father developed Parkinson’s disease, and my mother took care of him up until the end. She took over the driving and all the heavy work of traveling with the trailer. They were dedicated to it and continued as long as they possibly could.

Cancer

My mother used to say that they would be fine as long as she continued to stay healthy. We always thought that she would outlive Dad by several years. Unfortunately, she developed colorectal cancer in 2006 at the age of 73. Although she was in pain, she didn’t get the colonoscopy her doctor suggested until it was too late. I was still living in DC and believed her assurances that it was just a minor problem. I wish I had known and done something about it.

After she was finally diagnosed, I made several trips to Arizona to visit with them and help out as much as I could. I moved them to Tucson, where they still stayed in their beloved trailer.

Mom underwent chemotherapy and radiation. It was a roller-coaster of successes, set-backs, and uncertainties. We were always waiting for the results of the “next test.” Throughout it all, she kept up an amazing sense of humor and courage. She also continued to do most of the work to take care of my father, who was almost completely bed-ridden.

For a short while, it looked like she had conquered the cancer, but it came back. Finally, her oncologist in Tucson said the only option was major surgery. My brother, husband, and I all came to Tucson to be with her and Dad. We found the best nursing home there for him that we could find. I was at the hospital when my mom had several organs removed.

After a few weeks in the hospital, she came to the same nursing home as my dad to recuperate. They were together for Thanksgiving and their 50th anniversary, although neither was very joyous. We were all there for that, too.

I flew home, thinking that the situation was improving. It was tough knowing I was 2000 miles away, but I had taken a lot of time off and had to get back to work. Several days later, she got a blood infection from a line inserted in her arm at the hospital for medications. Her doctor kept assuring me that they would get it under control, but it advanced extremely rapidly. My brother, who lives in Portland, Oregon, and I raced back but were unable to get back there until it was too late. One of my father’s sisters, who lived part-time in Tucson, was with her when she passed away. Aunt Mardie and her husband Wally were a huge help during all of this, spending lots of time with both Mom and Dad.

Back in New Zealand

Mom’s two sisters and one of my cousins came from New Zealand to Arizona for my mother’s funeral. My brother, father, husband, Aunt Mardie, Uncle Wally, and some close family friends also attended. We had a small, quiet ceremony in which we all told stories about her life. She had always continued to be the “fine seamstress” and “imaginative cook” that my dad had written about. We displayed several examples of her handiwork, including clothes with incredible free-hand embroidery she had recently made, intricately knitted sweaters and other items, and delicate lace she had made by tatting.

My aunts and cousin took my mother’s ashes back to New Zealand and buried them in a Dunedin cemetery on a high hilltop overlooking the ocean. My father, brother, and I felt it was fitting to return Mom to the place she first called home and bury her with her parents. Andrew (my brother) was there along with many friends and family members.

My father only lived for another seven months after my mother’s death, passing away one week before his 81st birthday. He stayed in the critical care section of the nursing home because of his Parkinson’s. Andrew was able to work remotely and spent quite a lot of time in Tucson with Dad, for which I’m very grateful. Dad also developed colon cancer, which is listed as his cause of death, but I think he died mostly from a broken heart.

Andrew, my husband, and I took my father’s ashes to Dunedin a few months later. We wanted Mom and Dad to be together in the country where they had met and fallen in love 50 years earlier.

I had been to New Zealand twice before, once when I was in second grade and once about 15 years before when my parents were also visiting. She showed me many of the places she had grown up in.

Although parts of this trip were very sad, it was also good to stay with family and tour the country again. I enjoyed showing it to Doug, my husband. It helped me to appreciate and understand more about the many changes my mom had gone through in her life.

Growing up with parents who were willing to take big risks certainly had an impact on my willingness to take risks as well. Transforming your life is hard work, and it takes dedication. They both showed me that.

Robyn

map photo credit: timmenzies

This is the fourth post in my Losing 100 Pounds series, and it discusses the third of the five phases I went through. As a quick recap, here are the 5 phases I’ve identified:

1. Gain the weight.
2. Understand the impacts.
3. Get on the path to weight loss.
4. Learn what works in losing weight.
5. Find a new way of living.

Before I go any further, I should give you a warning. Many of the methods I used may fly in the face of some popular thinking about diets and weight loss. However, I don’t think I ever did anything that might be considered particularly extreme or weird.

I’m not here to sell you a magic milkshake or “fool-proof” diet plan. If you want something like that, you’ll need to look somewhere else. I’m sure you can find lots of places to take your money.

Instead of looking for a miracle answer, I just used my own common sense, feeling my way along one step at a time. At first, I didn’t even follow a specific diet plan. I didn’t think I would be able to stick to a plan in which someone told me exactly what to eat. Besides, I had enough bad habits that changing some of those would have a big impact.

To start my weight loss journey, I made three changes. Each was fairly simple to understand and remember. And because they were simple, cheating was pretty obvious. My new determination, and my fear for my health, made it easy to stick with them. Here are my first three changes:

• walking
• changing drinks
• logging my food and exercise

Walking is an easy exercise for most people to start with. All I had to do was get a pair of walking shoes and head out the door.

At first, I could barely walk a quarter-mile. At that time, I worked in downtown Washington, DC. It seemed like everyone, including both young and old tourists, passed me. But I kept remembering what my nurse practitioner had told me about diabetes and stroke, and I kept going. I walked during lunch at work, and I walked up and down my street at home on the weekends. I kept increasing the time, distance, and speed. After a few weeks, I was able to walk a whole mile without stopping. I remember how thrilled how I was.

Changing drinks had a big impact on my calorie counts. It meant changing ingrained habits, but it wasn’t really all that difficult once I thought about it. I don’t like coffee, but I did like some caffeine in the morning. So, every morning when I got to work, I drank a full can of Coke–usually Cherry Coke. Of course, I’d then have some at lunch or other times during the day as well. I didn’t drink as much Coke as some people I knew, so I figured I was fine–but I wasn’t. That habit cost me hundreds of extra calories each day. I switched from soft drinks to water and tea. Surprisingly, that soft drink habit was easier to break than I thought. Soon I didn’t miss it at all. After being off Coke for a couple of months, I tried one again as a test. I couldn’t believe how awful it tasted to me.

Logging my food and exercise helped to cement the other two changes. I made up a chart with blocks on it for each day of the week. I had blocks for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and exercise. I started writing down everything I ate or drank and all my walking. At first, I just wrote it down. Later, I started adding in calorie information, but I didn’t do that until I was more comfortable with the idea. Remember, one step at a time. Just knowing that I had to write it down made me much more mindful of what I was eating. I found it naturally much easier to avoid chomping on a cookie or munching on potato chips, because it made me stop and think first. Writing down my exercise also encouraged me to do more of that. I could see the progress I was making.

Many people find writing down food and exercise like this really difficult. However, it helped me so much that I kept it up. It was and still is a huge contributor to my effectiveness at weight loss. I kept it very simple. For a long time, I just used pencil and paper because it’s very portable. You can write down things immediately and not have to rely on memory.

You can also use computer programs and online services for tracking your food,. They can provide more information but can also be more difficult to use. I use one of those now, but I just carried around a piece of paper for a long time. I tracked food (and eventually calories), but I didn’t worry about things such as grams of carbohydrates or the ratios of protein, carbs, and fats.

Over time, I added a lot of other techniques and learned a lot of other things. But these three are what really got me started on the path back to good health. Once I got them down, I never looked back. Having that “alarm clock” moment that made my problem become all too real to me is what gave me the courage to do something. Starting with some relatively simple steps made it easier for me to find that something to do.

Does any of this make sense to you? What simple steps can you think of to take? Let us know in the comments.

Robyn

photo credit: prakhar

Articles in the Series:
Losing 100 Pounds – The 5 Phases
Losing 100 Pounds – Gain It First
Losing 100 Pounds – Waking Up to Weight Gain
Losing 100 Pounds – On the Path to Weight Loss
Losing 100 Pounds – Learning What Works
Losing 100 Pounds – Finding a New Way of Living

This is the third post in my Losing 100 Pounds series, and it discusses the second of the five phases I went through. As a quick recap, here are the 5 phases I’ve identified:

1. Gain the weight.
2. Understand the impacts.
3. Get on the path to weight loss.
4. Learn what works in losing weight.
5. Find a new way of living.

As I said in my earlier post about gaining the weight, I ended up at over 240 pounds and wearing size 20 clothes. Of course, I knew that, and I wasn’t really happy about it. But it was always something I thought I could worry about tomorrow. It was too much trouble today.

I would get out of breath and have to stop while climbing up a one-block-long hill across from my office. I had a hard time walking around the block. My knees hurt in the morning when I went downstairs.

I knew this wasn’t good, but I didn’t really know what to do about it or where to start. The whole idea of “dieting” just didn’t sound very possible to me. So I didn’t really do anything.

Who’s Obese? I’m Just a Bit Chubby

By this time, I was well beyond overweight; I was really obese. I plan to tell you more about a measure called the Body-Mass Index (BMI) in a future article, but for now I’ll say this. It’s a measure that considers your weight and your height together. Even though it has its drawbacks, it’s more useful than looking at weight alone. In very general terms, the theory is that taller people are expected to be heavier than shorter people. Scientists use BMI to classify people as underweight, healthy weight, overweight, and obese.

In my case, I was well into the zone of obesity. I had to lose at least 50 pounds just to be considered overweight. It would take another 30 more to get down to the top of my healthy weight range.

The very sound of the word obese makes me cringe. Maybe because it rhymes with grease. It’s a bit like fingernails on a chalkboard. The meaning and its implications are even worse. It means a higher risk of severe illness and death. In more practical, immediate terms, it meant I felt lousy and couldn’t do a lot of the things I wanted to do.

The Last Straw

I have always been pretty good about getting annual physical exams. Doctors had said I should lose weight and get in better shape. I would agree, but it never had that much impact on me. They never really gave me much practical advice, or at least not anything I thought was useful to me.

In early 2004, I saw a nurse practitioner for my annual exam, who I hadn’t seen before. Unlike many of the doctors I had seen before, Mylene was willing to spend some time with me. She finally got through to me and helped me see the error of my ways. Frankly, she scared the absolute heck out of me.

We ran the usual blood tests. She said my bad cholesterol was a bit high, and my good cholesterol was low. But the thing that really did the trick for me was how high my blood glucose (also called blood sugar) was getting. It had been steadily creeping up, and I was now in the “pre-diabetic” stage. That meant I was clearly on the way to getting type 2 diabetes. I was also at increased risk for stroke, heart attack, and other nasty things.

Right then and there, I decided I was not going any farther down that path. I refused poke needles in myself to inject insulin several times a day. I knew several people who had to do it, and it definitely wasn’t something I wanted to do.

The American Diabetes Association provides a lot of good information about pre-diabetes on their website. According to them, if you have pre-diabetes, you can and should do something about it. Studies have shown that people with pre-diabetes can prevent or delay the development of type 2 diabetes by up to 58 percent through changes to their lifestyle that include modest weight loss and regular exercise. The expert panel recommends that people with pre-diabetes reduce their weight by 5-10 percent and participate in some type of modest physical activity for 30 minutes daily. For some people with pre-diabetes, intervening early can actually turn back the clock and return elevated blood glucose levels to the normal range.

The Next Steps

Now that I knew how bad things could really get for me, I had to figure out what to do. As I said before, I knew I should do something, but I didn’t really know how. Mylene, my new nurse practitioner (and savior) gave me three bits of advice and told me to come back in 6 weeks. She said:

• Start walking, even if it’s just for a few minutes to start. Keep trying to walk a little more each time.
• Start a food and exercise log. Write down everything I eat and everything I do for exercise.
• Follow a diet plan. She gave me sample plans for 1200, 1400, and 1600 calories per day.

I started walking that day. It wasn’t far, but it was a start. I had tried this before, but now I had extra incentive.

I also started logging all my food in a journal. I had never tried this before, and it ended up being some of her best advice for me. I still do this. It really helps me keep on track, and it made me much more aware of what I was doing.

I couldn’t really handle following a strict diet regimen at that point. So I put that off, but I did start trying to adjust my diet somewhat. The very fact that I had to write it all down helped make me more aware of what I was eating.

As they say, two out of three ain’t bad. I actually started feeling better within a few days. I was finally on my way to feeling better. In my next post in this series, I’ll describe more about the first few weeks of this new project to get on the path to regaining my health.

Have you reached the tipping point yet? If so, what was your last straw? If not, what do you think it might be? What would it take to wake you up to your situation? Please let us know your thoughts in the comments.

Robyn

Articles in the Series:
Losing 100 Pounds – The 5 Phases
Losing 100 Pounds – Gain It First
Losing 100 Pounds – Waking Up to Weight Gain
Losing 100 Pounds – On the Path to Weight Loss
Losing 100 Pounds – Learning What Works
Losing 100 Pounds – Finding a New Way of Living

As a quick recap, here are the phases again:

1. Gain the weight.
2. Understand the impacts.
3. Get on the path to weight loss.
4. Learn what works in losing weight.
5. Find a new way of living.

I certainly succeeded with the first phase, gaining the weight. As I said in my last post, to lose 100 pounds, you have to gain it first. That’s the bad news. It’s a lot harder to get it off than it is to put it on.

I was thin when I was a child. But when I went to college, I gained the dreaded “freshman 15“. I continued to gain weight year by year after that. The weight gain never seemed truly alarming, but it was steady.

On occasion, I halfheartedly attempted a diet. Once or twice, I even tried to start an exercise routine. I never got very far with either approach. At each point, I thought it’s not really all that critical yet. After all, it was only a few pounds, wasn’t it?

I was in complete denial. Clueless.

A Boyfriend in Great Shape

When I was in my late 20’s, I had a boyfriend who was in great shape. (I’ll call him Charles.) He was fit and ran several miles every morning. Charles described me as zaftig, which Dictionary.com defines as slang for full-bodied; well-proportioned; having a pleasantly plump figure. I thought that actually sounded pretty good. And it was.

But then I kept putting on weight, and it wasn’t so good any more. At one point, Charles told me that he couldn’t imagine staying with someone who got too fat and out of shape. I wasn’t at that point, but I could see the “writing on the wall.” So what did I do?

I left him before he could leave me. I didn’t have enough confidence in myself to say I couldn’t get that heavy.

A Boyfriend Not in Great Shape

I found another boyfriend who was seriously overweight himself. (I’ll call him Len.) I figured I wouldn’t have to worry about getting too fat for him. So I was free to continue getting heavier. (That would show Charles! Was I stupid or what?)

I did get one good thing out of my relationship with Len; he reintroduced me to snow skiing. I even became a Certified Amateur Ski Instructor and taught classes for the local ski club. Skiing helped improve my fitness. It also kept some of the pounds off, but not enough.

After Len and I broke up, I started taking ballroom dancing lessons. Soon, I was dancing 5 or 6 nights a week. I even won a few trophies in local competitions. Although I was still overweight and could never have made it onto Dancing With the Stars, I got into pretty good shape as a result. For once, my weight gain seemed reasonably under control as well.

Then I Got Married

A couple of years later, I met and married Doug. My roommate and I had started doing sports car rallies. Those are contests in which you drive on back roads, following instructions exactly, and get timed at checkpoints along the way to measure your accuracy. We thought it might be a good way to meet some nice guys. It worked. I met Doug, who was president of the local rally club at the time.

Doug never liked the idea of skiing, so we didn’t do that. I was still dancing, and he agreed to take lessons for our first dance at our wedding. I thought he would continue after we got married; however, like a lot of guys, he decided he really wasn’t interested in that either.

Now that I was a wife, I didn’t want to do things like go away on a ski vacation or dance with other men. Instead, we did things that Doug liked, which were sports car rallies and going to baseball games. Unfortunately, both of those involve not much more than sitting on your butt. Neither one burns many calories, but I kept eating the same way.

The pounds really started to pile on. Eventually, I reached a size 20 dress size and XL shirt size. I bought a fancy, new, digital bathroom scale. I thought it might somehow magically help the weight go away. Amazingly, it did help a little, just because it made me a bit more conscious of it, but it couldn’t work miracles by itself.

Hitting the Peak

The highest number I ever saw on my scale was 244, but that was the day after Thanksgiving, so I figure I don’t have count it. Instead, I generally use about 240 pounds as my “highest” weight. (It’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. Hah.) In addition to weight, my new scale measured body fat percentage. Bathroom scales are notoriously inaccurate with that, but mine showed that over 50% of my body weight was fat. More than half! No matter how inaccurate the scale might be, I couldn’t ignore that number. What a disgusting thought!

I managed to lose a couple of pounds over the next few months. At least I wasn’t gaining, but I was struggling. I kept hoping to get a cold or the flu, because I could usually lose about 5 pounds when I got sick. However, that wasn’t a very effective weight loss method. I usually regained it.

It wasn’t until I saw my doctor and got the bad news about my health that I really managed to turn things around. But I’ll talk about that in my next post in this series.

Were you as clueless as I was about your weight? What made you realize it was really a problem?

Robyn

photo credit: db*photography

Articles in the Series:
Losing 100 Pounds – The 5 Phases
Losing 100 Pounds – Gain It First
Losing 100 Pounds – Waking Up to Weight Gain
Losing 100 Pounds – On the Path to Weight Loss
Losing 100 Pounds – Learning What Works
Losing 100 Pounds – Finding a New Way of Living

In early 2004, I carried over 240 pounds on my 5-foot 7-inch frame. I freely admit now that I was a couch potato. I was in lousy shape and poor health, and I was getting more unhappy and unhealthy as time went by. However, I really had no idea what to do about it.

Sixteen months later, I had become a 140-pound, healthy, fit woman, and I have stayed that way.

Losing that 100 pounds transformed me in many ways I never expected. I have become much healthier, happier, and more confident. I’ve even become an athlete, something I never imagined could happen. I’ve run a dozen triathlons, three half-marathons, and many shorter running and swimming races.

I feel quite proud of this. It took a lot of determination and perseverance. People often congratulate me. At the same time, I can’t help feeling ashamed and angry at myself. Why did I ever let myself get that way to begin with? If I hadn’t gained all that weight, I wouldn’t have needed to lose it.

Here are the 5 major phases that I went through in this whole process:

1. I had to gain all that weight. This was the easy part, just as it is for most people.
2. I had to recognize and fully understand the impact all that excess weight was having on me.
3. I had to get on the path to regaining my health. I had to figure out which path to take.
4. I had to learn what worked for me as I went along.
5. I had to learn a new way of living. Once I had gone through all that effort to lose those pounds, I wanted to make sure I can keep them off.

How Did I Do It? The Short Answer

I know you want an easy answer. Unfortunately, there isn’t one, despite what all the weight loss commercials say. As I said in my first post, there isn’t a magic pill or formula to make it easy.

I lost all of that weight, all 100 pounds and more, using the tried-and-true method of diet and exercise. Although I was probably heavy enough for gastric bypass surgery, I really didn’t want to go through that.

I did it all through a series of small steps, learning more and more as I went along. One of the big keys to it is a good motivation. For me, it was my health. For others, it might be wanting to be there in the future for their children.

What’s the reason for you? If you’re overweight, can you identify a good reason that will move you to lose some pounds? If you’re not overweight now, can you think of a reason to stay that way? If you’re underweight (I don’t want to ignore the very real problems of anorexia and bulimia), can you think of a reason to heal your body image? In all cases, what is a good reason for you to get more fit and strong? Please share your thoughts.

Robyn

Articles in the Series:
Losing 100 Pounds – The 5 Phases
Losing 100 Pounds – Gain It First
Losing 100 Pounds – Waking Up to Weight Gain
Losing 100 Pounds – On the Path to Weight Loss
Losing 100 Pounds – Learning What Works
Losing 100 Pounds – Finding a New Way of Living

These are questions I’ve been asking myself lately.  How easy is it for someone to change his or her life? Answer – It depends. How easy is it for me to change my life? Answer – It depends.

I don’t really like that answer. Unfortunately, it’s true. Many of us keep searching for the “ideal way” to fix everything – the quick fix that solves everything in an instant. Sometimes I wish there was a magic pill or formula to do that, but life just doesn’t work that way. I believe it takes a lot of small steps (and an occasional big leap) to make significant changes in your life.

There are many ways to go. Some doors swing wide open as you walk up or push with your fingers. Some doors require unlocking and pushing really hard. Some doors are opened for you when you knock on them.

Changing your life for the better requires a transformation in some way. In some cases, it’s a radical change like the proverbial caterpillar turning into a beautiful butterfly. In other cases, it’s much more subtle and gradual, like snow melting to reveal flowers pushing up from the earth. I believe we all have the power to transform our lives and the lives of those around us. In some cases, we can even transform the lives of people we have never met.

Why am I doing this?

I love to learn things, and this subject of transformation and growth has been fascinating me for a while. I would like to share ideas with anyone who might read this blog. I have a lot of interests, and I tend to keep myself really busy. Most of the time it’s probably too many things. Learning how to handle that is one of my biggest challenges now.

I have managed to make some big transformations in my life, and I’ll talk about some of those in future posts. However, I know I have also limited myself in many ways. Sometimes I get too caught up in “following the rules” and perfectionism. That can be a show-stopper for getting things done.

This blog is a good example. I created it months ago, and since then I’ve been fretting about getting it started off “just right.” Now, I think it’s finally time to put myself out there and post something. I’m sure I’ll falter and learn as I go along. One step at a time. Eventually, I hope I’ll transform myself into a blogger.

I’ve been studying blogging for a while – just not actually doing it! I’ve heard about keywords and SEO and monetizing and analytics and a bunch of other buzzwords. At this point, I’m not going to worry about any of that. I doubt that I ever will on this blog.

I know I’m supposed to give you advice and help you learn something here, too. Give me a little time, and I hope to do that. At least maybe you’ve learned a little bit about me now, for whatever that’s worth.

What is your approach to making changes? Are you a big leaper or a small stepper?

photo by Al_HikesAZ